


Half Agony, Half Hope

by mango22



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jane Austen AU, persuasion au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 15:58:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19976704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mango22/pseuds/mango22
Summary: Eight years ago Daenerys Targaryen had been persuaded to break off her engagement with Jon Snow. Now after reuniting almost a decade later, can they mend their broken hearts and come together once again? Jonerys Persuasion AU.





	Half Agony, Half Hope

Time never stood still. Hearts broke, calamities occurred and people died; yet the clock ticked on.

Indifferent and almost cruel in how carelessly it moved along without missing a beat.

However, during exceptional occasions, when souls as connected as theirs were involved, even time was forced to slow down, maybe even stop, to acknowledge the love and intensity that can only be brought forth by two beings as broken as they were.

And that is how it felt, when Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen saw each other again after eight long- suffering years.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**8 years ago** _

Jon Snow crumpled the letter in his hands, and tried to breath through his nose to control his emotions. His first instinct was to punch the nearest wall, but he knew that would not do. He had been going to therapy, trying to focus on anger management and not using his pent up rage and grief as an outlet.

His parents had been murdered by a filthy rich shitbag son of a politician, and of course the piece of crap had been absolved of his crime. Orphaned at 19, with a grim financial situation and utter despondency, he fell in with the wrong crowd. Found toxic friends like Theon and Alliser, and took out all his anger at the injustice of the legal system and corrupt government at the society around him.

But amidst the darkness, there were two rays of hope that lit his way and brought him out. He met Gendry a month before Daenerys entered his life. Both were like lighthouses during a stormy night, and came to him just when he needed them the most.

He began to feel normal after a long time, opening up about his trauma and letting them in, letting them guide him back to his old self again.

Daenerys made him laugh, like proper belly aching laughter, just by being herself. On their first encounter he realized that she was a force to be reckoned with, and that is what drew him to her. He noticed she wasn’t the fragile, delicate blonde everyone made her out to be, and she noticed that there was more to him that his outward appearance of a fixer upper.

Gendry introduced him to healthy coping mechanisms, boxing with him every Saturday night and forcing him to attend group therapy sessions every Sunday afternoon. Soon there wasn’t much convincing left to do as Jon began to voluntarily show up and let the wounds heal over time.

Just as things were picking up, a vital piece went missing and like a house of cards, it all came crashing down.

Daenerys had sent a letter stating she was breaking their engagement. Yes, at the moment when he proposed it had seemed rash and a bit sudden but Jon had always been an all or nothing type of guy and he knew this was it for him. And it was the same for Dany, or so he had believed.

The fact that she didn’t even have the courtesy to do it to his face, instead penning a letter and leaving it with Gendry, the equivalent of an old fashioned text message, made him tear it apart. She could’ve at least called, but maybe Daenerys thought he would try to change her mind.

Perhaps he would’ve, but now? Now he wouldn’t even look back. Now he would go away, leave this rotten city of King’s Landing far far behind as he looked to new prospects.

Gendry had asked him some time ago if he was interested in joining the military. Jon decided it was time to answer that question.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**Present Day** _

Daenerys could barely breathe. He was standing there, two feet away from her, wearing the attire of a war veteran and looking more handsome than she remembered. His expression was amicable, outward demeanor pleasant and inviting to everyone else in the room, but when those sharp, dark eyes landed on her, she could see them harden. And just like that, all the breath in her lungs vanished.

They exchanged stiff hellos and a polite nod and before she knew it he was gone, as if it had been a dream all along.

She pried away from the chatter of her brother Rhaegar and the two young ladies, Ygritte and Val, praising her estranged lover and escaped to her room.

Once there she took out the ring she had held onto for the past eight years and stroked it with her thumb. Clearly he was here to give another ring to a worthier companion, whose heart would be steadfast and loyal, not fickle and weak.

Her family’s wealth had diminished bit by bit through several misfortunes over the years, and she was working as a legal secretary at a firm that could barely make ends meet; whereas he had come back every bit the accomplished, honorable man her father Aerys had snidely remarked he would never be. And he wasn't even here to see how wrong he had been, having passed away last year.

Regret and shame flowed through her, and she wondered how different things would’ve been had she not let herself be persuaded to break off the engagement.

Well, it was all in the past now. No use speculating and crying over spilt milk. All she could do was stay strong and move forward.

So she vowed not to let her feelings get in the way, and remain in the shadows as she had done for the better half of the past decade.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

The idea of the picnic hadn’t sounded unbearable when presented to Daenerys but now it seemed it would’ve been better had she remained home.

It was a pleasant morning and perfect for a walk, but only certain people in the group were enjoying the nice weather.

Her brother Rhaegar and his ever disapproving wife Cersei were sporting miserable expressions while up ahead Ygritte, Val and Jon were having a wonderful time, joking and laughing and pointing out the various new blooms of the spring season.

Daenerys kept to the middle, so she caught snippets of the lively conversation in front of her and also the incessant whining behind her.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t notice the log in her path and tripped, her foot missing a step and sending her spiraling toward the ground.

Two strong arms wrapped themselves around her waist. Dany involuntarily closed her eyes and basked in the familiarity of those arms. Jon brought her up firmly, holding onto her petite frame as they looked at one another.

The moment was broken all too soon as the other ladies rushed with concern to make sure Dany was okay. They let go and Jon strode up ahead, as though nothing had happened.

She assured everyone she was fine and continued with the walk, her pulse beating at a faster pace.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

As the days went on, it became more and more clear that Ygritte had won over Jon. The two were spending copious amounts of time together, and would separate from the rest of the group whenever they all went out. Daenerys had even played the piano once (finally agreeing after relentless requests) as she watched them dance during a house party, stealing glances at the pair as her nimble fingers played a soft, romantic tune.

Just as the song had ended, she caught his eye and noticed an unusual gleam in them, as though he was so sad to see her. In the next second it was gone, and perhaps she had imagined it.

She watched Ygritte and Jon retreat to the dining room and decided it was time for her to leave. She thanked Mrs. Olenna Tyrell for inviting her and said farewell.

As she was heading out, she heard her name uttered behind the closed doors of the study and halted, moving closer to listen.

“I heard you knew her before?” Ygritte asked.

“Yes, a long time ago.” Jon replied.

“Were you friends?”

A long pause, and Dany could almost picture the way Jon’s hands twitched, a nervous tick he had when he wanted to avoid a question. After a while he answered, “No, mere acquaintances.”

“Oh, I see.” She could hear the relief in Ygritte’s voice.

It seemed that was the end of the conversation and Dany was about to leave when Jon said “But whatever I knew of her, it’s not there anymore.”

She stopped once more, shoulder almost leaning against the door in agitation as the next words were spoken.

“She used to be so vivacious and fierce, so firm in her morals and always the first to seek out the truth and help those who couldn’t help themselves. And I still see remnants of all that in her, but now, it’s so watered down. A mere shadow of what once was.”

Tears pooled in Dany’s eyes and she decided that she’d heard enough. As she softly cried on her way back home, she realized the worst part was that it was all true, every word he had said.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

She did her best to avoid Jon after that. Any social gathering where she knew he would be present, she made up some excuse to not attend. But it could only work for so long.

Soon enough, there was another outing where Cersei had forced her to come along since Rhaegar would be out of town and she didn’t want to go alone.

"But I also want to go because I hardly have a social life anymore and I finally found a babysitter and it truly is unfair how much of my time is consumed by everyone else’s problems, don't you see that Daenerys?"

Dany finally agreed to go if only to get her to stop talking.

It had to be at a stupid carnival of all places. Loud music, bright colors and a mismatched group of people weren’t exactly what Dany would call an ideal day.

However, she was happy to see Gendry again. He had returned a few weeks after Jon and looked far wearier than she remembered, but war tended to do that to a person. He was polite in that quiet manner of his and they made small talk in between listening to Cersei complain about the songs or the balloons or the food.

She resolutely ignored Jon, so much so that she wondered if it was obvious to the rest of the party. Her bruised pride combined with the amount of hurt those words had brought her caused Dany to not even dignify him with a look.

Which was hard to do since he kept stealing glances at her. She could feel his eyes on her and was tempted to just turn around and show him that she wasn’t a shadow of her past self, that she still retained those qualities that made him fall in love with her.

But he was no longer in love and unfortunately, like a fool, only she harbored feelings for him now. So she stashed those thoughts away and pretended to enjoy the festival.

Ygritte wanted to go on the ferris wheel and even though there was space for three people to sit, she insisted on riding alone with Jon. He was happy to comply and they got on while the rest of them followed.

The view was spectacular and Dany was actually beginning to feel better when she noticed Ygritte standing up to take a picture. Jon was half laughing and half warning her to sit down, and in return she began wobbling and making funny faces, dismissing his concern.

It happened so fast that for a second she froze, not registering what just occurred. Then the chaos began. Ygritte had fallen off and her head was bleeding. Jon was shouting and soon the ride stopped and they all got off.

Dany rushed to her side to check the damage while Gendry called 911. There were no paramedics on site so they had to wait for the ambulance. Jon was shaken to his core, blaming himself for the accident while Dany did her best to stop the bleeding with a makeshift gauze. Cersei and Val were near tears. Finally, after ages it seemed, the help arrived. 

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ygritte’s injury was deep and she wouldn’t gain consciousness for a few hours, but her condition was stable. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief.

They all wanted to stay but Val told the others they should get some rest. It had been a long day. Jon wouldn’t budge and remained by her side.

Dany saw the way the guilt was consuming him and couldn’t help herself. She had seen this look before and did not want him to go through that again. Despite her resolution to stay away, she placed a delicate hand on his shoulder and gently squeezed.

“This isn’t your fault Jon. I know you think it is, but it’s not. It’s _not._ Everything is going to be alright.”

He put his over hers and squeezed back. “Okay.” He whispered softly.

“Okay.” She repeated before she left, putting all her hope into that tiny word.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Ygritte’s recovery period was filled with balloons, get well soon cards and deliveries of her favorite cakes. Dany visited her often and one day she noticed flowers by her bedside. Fresh yellow daisies with a note from Jon.

She remembered when he used to bring her flowers, or a type of flower in particular. White roses, that was _their_ flower. His favorite kind. Signifying new beginnings and remembrance.

“ _I am an old fashioned kind of guy Dany.”_ He would say with a smile.

_“And I love you for it.”_ she would reply with a kiss on his cheek.

Ygritte asked her to take the daisies and put them in a vase by the windowsill, and they watched the sun shine on the golden petals.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Daenerys walked downstairs to breakfast next morning and heard the doorbell ring, she certainly wasn’t expecting to see Jon standing outside.

She opened the door and after some hesitation, he held up the bouquet of white roses he was hiding behind his back.

“I wanted to thank you, for the other day.” He said, as he handed them to her.

She took them and breathed in their scent, hiding her smile as she smelled the roses. “It was nothing Jon.”

“Not to me.” He replied.

She nodded and then asked him whether he would like to eat something. He said sure and it was almost surreal how normal everything seemed between them. It had taken them weeks to get to a point where they could have a conversation without spiraling into past mistakes and regrets.

As she led him to the kitchen, he spotted the John Keats book he had gifted her so long ago in the shelf.

“You still have this?” he asked as Dany turned around. When she saw what he was pointing at, a blush formed on her cheeks.

“It’s a great book, I read it quite often.”

He smiled, possibly the first genuine one he offered her since they reunited. “Remember how surprised you were to learn I was into poetry? Big macho alpha male likes to read poems oh what a shocker.” He said in that gruff voice of his and Dany chuckled.

“Not only poetry, but John Keats specifically.”

“Yeah, he was your favorite wasn’t he?”

“Not was, still is.” She replied softly, and for a moment it seemed neither of them were talking about John Keats.

Jon picked it off the shelf and slowly walked towards her. “And if I recall correctly, Bright Star is the one you loved the most.”

“Yes.”

He turned the pages until he found it. In a low voice, he began to read:

_“Bright star, would I were stedfast as thou art—_

_Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night_

_And watching, with eternal lids apart,_

_Like nature's patient, sleepless Eremite,_

_The moving waters at their priestlike task_

_Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,_

_Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask_

_Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—_

_No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,_

_Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,_

_To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,_

_Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,_

_Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,”_

He stopped and gazed up at Dany, eyes tender and warm. Her expression mirrored his. She stepped forward, close enough to breath in his cologne, and then finished the poem.

_“And so live ever—or else swoon to death."_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Jealousy wasn’t an emotion Jon Snow felt often, but it was coursing through his very veins at the sight of Daenerys laughing with the blue haired businessman.

Apparently he was one of the clients of the firm where she worked, but from where Jon was standing, it looked more than a formal relationship to him.

Though why should he care? Did he not promise himself that he would never look back? Did he not crumple her letter along with any and all feelings he had for the moment she had rejected him?

As he repeated these questions in his mind, he knew he was lying. He had known all along, he just didn’t want to be confronted with it.

Over the past few weeks, as he watched Dany slowly pulling into herself and others around her treating her like an afterthought, he realized that his anger and indignation didn’t stop him from caring. It hurt him to see her so small, so quiet, going along with the flow instead of fighting the tide like it was in her nature to do so.

Yet rather than comfort her, he had only pushed her away. Turned out, revenge wasn’t so sweet after all. Instead, it was bitter, for them both.

And then, just like a lighthouse during a storm, they had shared that tender moment at the hospital and then at her house, and it looked like things might be picking up. He saw the woman he had fallen in love with once again and thought perhaps they could have a second chance.

Now though, it seemed maybe he was too late.

He had heard the rumors before of this “Daario” but wasn’t sure what to make of them. Ygritte had all but confirmed that Daenerys was seeing someone from work yet he refused to believe it with certainty. Surely he hadn’t imagined the look of longing and love in her eyes when he was reading to her?

But seeing the intimate way Dany leaned into him and held onto his arm as he whispered something in her ear; it didn’t leave much room for doubt in his mind.

With a last glance at the happy couple, he walked away.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

“You’re acting like a fool Jon.”

“Don’t make me beat you up Gendry.”

“Hah! I could still take you down, but that’s not the point. The point is, will you run away from the only woman you’ve ever truly loved without even trying? Just because you saw her sharing a joke with a friend of hers at a party?”

“They seemed more than friends. And you forget, she rejected me once before.”

Gendry rubbed a palm over his face, and took a deep breath.

“Look Jon, I see where you’re coming from. I understand you. But I also have two functioning eyes and can see that Daenerys still wants you. It’s clear as day that she also wants to go back to the way things were. All I know is that if you don’t take this opportunity so help me I might just have to knock some sense into you with it.”

Jon grinned and then wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “What would I do without you Gendry?”

“I don’t know man, but I promise you, you won’t ever have to find out.”

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Gendry told Daenerys that apparently Jon thought Daario and her were together, she was bewildered. Whatever could’ve given him that idea? Yes, she and Daario were close and perhaps once she had even ‘fancied’ him but it was nothing more than a passing feeling. She knew in her heart of hearts that she had only ever truly loved Jon, everything and everyone else paled in comparison.

As Gendry handed her the letter Jon had written for her, she sat down and took a deep breath. With trembling hands, she opened the envelope and read.

_Dear Dany,_

_I can remain silent no longer. I must tell you the truth that has been haunting me the last eight years. You pierce my soul, Daenerys Targaryen. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that others who come between us don’t mean anything. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, nearly a decade ago. You saved me that time as well, and you alone can save me again. Be my lighthouse in the storm Dany. I have loved none but you. I may have been weak and resentful but never inconstant. Can you not see this? I can hardly write, my hands are shaking and even now fear of rejection grips my heart. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Bold and brilliant, like the beacon of light you’ve always been. You do us justice, indeed. You taught me that a compassionate heart full of hope was the strongest of them all, so with hope I turn to you again. It all ended with a letter, so for our new beginning, I want it to start with a letter, my bright star. Tell me you feel the same, and I shall never turn away, but if you don’t, I promise you will never be bothered by me again._

_Yours faithfully,_

_Jon Snow_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

His doorbell rang one, two, three times. Impatient knocks rained down until he came running to open it.

There, in all her messy glory, stood Daenerys Targaryen. Hair wild like a golden halo around her, cheeks flushed and violet eyes shining.

“I too have been foolish and fickle, but my love has also remained constant Jon. I thought of you all along, and imagined so many times how different it would all be had I not let myself be persuaded to abandon you. My heart could never even fathom the thought of another. I accept your offer, more earnestly and firmly than ever before. I am yours Jon Snow, if you will be mine.”

She closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him with all the pent up love, frustration, joy and sadness of the past eight years. And he kissed her back, knowing it would be the first of many more to come.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Daenerys quit her job and started following her true passion: social work. She and Jon finally left King’s Landing behind, and moved to Meereen, a new beginning like they had always planned. Yes, they were eight years late, and it took them way longer than they had expected, but they had finally built a home together.

Before she used to wish she could go back and change the past, but now she realized, that with the passage of time their love had only grown stronger, and despite heartbreak and bitterness caused by their separation, ultimately they were able to overcome every obstacle once reunited. 

This was the way their story was meant to play out, and she wouldn’t have had it any other way.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Author's Note:**

> persuasion is probably my favorite jane austen novel, even more so than pride and prejudice, and I thought the premise would go well with Jon and Dany <3


End file.
